I'm a monster
by Vickie125
Summary: What if Mikan went to another Alice Academy in Spain to save her friends from the Dangerous Ability type class? And when she comes back. No-one wants to know the monster she's become...
1. Chapter 1

I stepped out of the black limo with my small black heels clicking against the pavement. It cracked and i jumped. I sighed, suppressing the power the flowed in me, and shoving on another bracelet to add to the ten already on my wrists. Narumi-Sensei ran through the gates and giant smile spreading across his face. Oh wow. He's changed so much. In the past four years he had cut his hair, short and shaved. His eyes still had mischievous glint though. I smiled, but my eye brows knitted and tears formed in my eyes

"Mikan!" He hugged me, my bracelets clinking with the movement of me hugging him back.

"Narumi-Sensei." i whispered

"Drop the Sensei idiot." He stepped back. Glancing over me from head to toe. "Wow. You've changed. Your... Beautiful." I blushed a little. Before i followed him into the building.

**-flash back-**

_"is Hotaru here?!" Mikan yelled at Narumi._

_"Hotaru?"He questioned_

_"yes! Hotaru! My bestest best friend!"_

_"Mikan?" Mikan turned to the voice of her bestest best friend. She ran and hugged her_

_"Hotaru!"_

**-end of flash back-**

"Bring back any memories?" Narumi smiled.

"Sure does." I said. Stepping into the high school division. I was in my new uniform. Blue skirt and black top. They had switched the colors around while i was gone... So much is different... Including me...

"You know. Everyones still in the same class. Except purmy."

"What?"

"Her Alice died in middle school." Narumi looked sad and my heart clenched. I really did miss everything.

"Class B. Here you are." I stepped in front of the large oak doors with Class B written across the front. Inside i heard chatter and laughter. Some i recognized. Narumi knocked on the door.

"She's here!" He said before walking off.

"Okay class settle down. We have a new student today. Come on in!" I pushed open the door and everything fell silent as i walked in. My chestnut hair was braided and out of my old pigtails. I was taller, and everyone called me beautiful. My body had aged too, i was bigger... I looked at the teacher and my heart jumped. Tsubasa-sensei? I wrote my name on the black board and turned back to the class,

"Hi. I'm Sakura Mikan. And for those of you who remember me. I'm back!" I smiled. I heard someone stand up. Hotaru.

"M-mikan...?" I saw tears in her purple eyes. She was so different. Her hair was longer and past her shoulders and she was prettier.

"Hotaru." I smiled and she ran over and hugged me. I hugged her back and she started crying. I saw someone else stand up but he left the room with a blonde haired male.

I sat down next to Hotaru after all the re-introductions, hugs, welcomes, smiles, and tears. I was back. And they wanted me back. But what about them...?

After the couple first periods had finished i decided to skip class to find them. I ran in the stables, nothing, the woods, nothing, i avoided Mr. Bear, for now.

"The Sakura tree..." I whispered before running past new faces and falling over once. I looked up and there they sat, backs to the tree. And black haired Fire Alice and a blonde haired Pheromone Alice.

"Natsume! Ruka-Pyon!" I yelled and they looked towards me. Natsume stood up and began to walk away,

"Stop!" I screamed and Ruka-Pyon jumped. "Do you really hate me that much because i left!?"

"I don't hate you because you left!" Natsume yelled turning back, and to my surprise, he had little tears in his eyes. "I hate you because you didn't tell us!" he ran off... He really does hate me...

**-flash back-**

_"Mikan have you made your decision?" The Elementary school principle looked down on Mikan who was crying at his feet._

_"I'll go..." She whispered._

_"What was that?" He smirked_

_"I'll go! I'll go to Spain! I'll join Dangerous Ability class to replace him!" Tears flowed down her cheeks_

_"Good girl. Now go pack, your flight leaves in 3 hours." She ran to get packed, avoiding everyone she knew and loved._

_She placed her luggage in the trunk and looked tot he class B window to see her classmates screaming her name and banging on the window. Suddenly the front door burst open and Natsume, Ruka and Hotaru came running out. She smiled and they stopped. She got in the car. She heard Natsume scream her name and she burst into tears._

_"i'm doing this for you... I love you... Natsume..."_

_**-end of flash back-**_


	2. Chapter 2

I sat awake in bed. Unable to sleep. Natsume the only man i had ever loved and i thought loved me back had just told me he hates me. I was stupid to think everyone would welcome me with open arms and hearts. I thought i had broken down Natsume's walls, i guess i just helped him build them taller. I sighed and decided to go for a wonder. I put on a simple black top and dark purple skirt with black tights and purple cardigan. I always wore this when i was alone. I don't know why, probably because Natsume said i looked cute in it once. I slipped on my slippers and as quietly as i could snuck out.

I made my way to the West woods there a small cloud of smoke rose. He's awake! I began to run. I bushed my way through the bushes and trees until i came across as impel log cabin with smoke puffing put the chimney. I smiled and wrapped my cardigan tighter around me. I walked onto the porch and softly knocked on the door.

"Mr Bear?..." I prayed he would open the door and let me in. I heard a crash and a stumble before the door creaked open and i looked down. My heart soared.

"Mr Bear!" I picked him up and hugged him. I was so happy! Suddenly, Mr Bear punched me square in this face.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" I said clutching my nose. I dropped him. Then something warm enclosed my leg. I looked down and saw him gripping my leg. I chuckled and hugged him again. I peeked into his home and i saw able to see the cabinet against the far side of the wall. Next to the picture of his deceased master stood a picture of a lone girl, smiling brightly. Me. I chuckled but couldn't stop the tears that began to fall down my face.

"Mr Bear!" I wailed. A snap sounded to my left an i looked up to see a giant chick. It squawked and i laughed before pulling him into a hug as well.

After the emotional night, i woke up groggily. My eyes were red and swollen from crying and i felt like poop. I opened my eyes. Wide. The walls around me were cracked and the paint was peeling off. In my sleep... I did that? I looked down at my protection bracelets to see many had cracks and splinters in them.

"Oh god..." I swallowed hard. My powers were overloading... I don't have long left...

After breakfast i skipped class and made my way to the sakura tree.

"Mikan." I heard a voice and i looked up from my manga, that i got from Natsume before i left.

"Ruka-Pyon." He sat down next me but wouldn't look me in the eye. I closed my book and turned to face him.

"Why do you wear so many protection bracelets?" I sighed and knitted my brows.

"Reasons." I looked away but he gripped my chin and pulled me back to look at him.

"Mikan. Whats going on with you?" His eyes were filled with worry and my heart clenched. There was no way i would be able to lie to him... So i might as well just tell him.

"They found another use for my Nullification Alice."

"What?" He let go of chin.

"You knew my Stealing and Insertion Alice died right? Well my Nullification is still alive, but the more i use, there less life i have left."

"Like...Natsume?..." His face filled with dread.

"The reason i left was because of the Elementary School Principle. I made a deal with him after we found out about my Alice and the power i had. The deal was that i could stop Natsume from the Dangerous Ability Type and stop you joining as well, if i agreed to join and work in Spain." I looked down at the ground.

"M-Mikan..."

"I'm a monster, Ruka-Pyon. The other use we found i could use was that i could Nullify other objects and people lives..." I felt Ruka stiffen. "but I only agreed to stay in Spain until my powers got so out of control, they would Nullify my life. When that time was near, i could come back here." Tears started to form in my eyes.

"M-Mikan...?"

"I'm sorry Ruka-Pyon, my life, it's almost over." I looked up at him to see his gaze cast over my shoulder. My heart beat quickened, i turned around to see none other than Natsume Hyuuga. My heart sunk.

"What did you just say Mikan?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Your dying?..." I stood up quickly.

"Natsume. What are you doing here?" Dread filled my body about the fact he had just found out my secret.

"Mikan. You're dying?!" He grabbed my wrist. His eyes searched mine. My lips quivered and i fought back tears.

"Why do you care?" i snapped my wrist from his grip." You hate me."

"M-Mikan..." His face paled. "I didn't mean-"

"Stop." i held up my hand to silence him and took a step away from the boys.

"Ruka-Pyon. Natsume. I didn't come here for forgiveness or to become your little baka Mikan again. I came to say goodbye." I heard a bracelet crack and i looked down. Both of them gasped as the bracelet faded away. I looked back up at them, eyes plain and holding no emotion. "After everything around me dies, so whats the point in being near me." I shrugged my shoulders as another bracelet fell away.

"M-Mikan. Calm down, we can fix this." Ruka-Pyon took a step towards me.

"Fix what? Anything you fix will just fade away. Its no use. I kill everything i touch." thats when i ran. I ran away from them. My wrist felt lighter. I only had three bracelets left. I looked down as i ran. They pavement cracking and breaking under my touch. I looked up at the sky, it was slowly turning grey...

I ran out of breath and came to a stop, sucking in gasps i looked up. The sky was dark and cold. My heavy breath visible in the air. I looked to my right and saw the balcony where me and Natsume confessed to each other. The night before i left...

**-flash back-**

_She pleaded for him to her her._

_"Natsume... Natsume..." she said his name again and again. Over and over in her head. Mikan looked up and it began to snow lightly. A tear fell down her face. Last Christmas. Natsume kissed her in the tree... _

_"Mikan!" she jumped at someone shouting her name. She looked down._

_"N-Natsume!?" She gasped as he began to climb up to her, like Romeo to Juliet. _

_"Mikan." he smiled. Actually smiled! _

_"Merry Christmas." She smiled at him_

_"i want my present." Her heart began to beat faster and faster._

_"w-what would you like?" She mumbled, her face turning beat red._

_"a kiss." Mikans eyes widened and she looked up at me. _

_"Kiss me, Mikan." He was so serious. _

_"I- I can't, my heart will explode!" _

_"Come on, its just one kiss. I'm falling off here." Slowly Mikan inched her face closer to Natsumes. She closed her eyes as she gently pressed her lips to his. He smirked and closed his eyes, deepening it. They broke apart._

_"again." Mikan exploded into steam_

_"w-wha!? " she shouted._

_"sssshhh we'll get found out." Natsume gripped her hand. _

_"I can't kiss you again!" She whisper shouted._

_"then say you love me." Mikan froze._

_"b-but..."_

_"i wanna hear you say it. Not through telepathy but out of your mouth and with your voice." Mikan got even redder._

_"i...i love you... Natsume, you baka, selfish... Moron." She started to cry and Natsume smiled warmly._

_"the baka and moron weren't needed... Me too." Mikan looked into his eyes. "I love you too Mikan." They shared their final kiss under the sweet snow. _

**-end of flash back-**

And like on script it started to snow. Mikan's lips quivered. The snow didn't touch her though. It melted and faded away before it could land on her.

"STUPID BAKA NATSUME!" She screamed in frustration and fell to her knees, causing large cracks and dents to form around her. She covered her face with her hands, quietly sobbing "i love you. BAKA!" And unknown to her a young crimson eyed Fire Alice holder had followed her and heard every word that came out her mouth


	4. Chapter 4

I will miss everyone. I thought as put on more bracelets. I sighed deeply,

"Natsume..." i whispered, suddenly the world around me began to fade away. My head grew light and gripped it with my hands, the new bracelets cracked and crumbled off my wrists. None left... I screamed and fell to the floor. The floor collapsed in on itself and i fell into the room under me. The high schooler in her room screamed in surprise before rolling her eyes and collapsing. My hole world went dizzy and i saw someone run in screaming my name before it all went black.

"What the hell happened!?" i heard a deep male voice shouting at someone.

"I-I'm not sure. Her powers went over load. I've never seen something like this." The female voice sounded so familiar.

"Misaki, calm down." A gentle voice, belonging to Tsubasa-Senpai?

"If you don't know what happened how did you stop it?" The stressed male voice said.

"i implanted metal plates into her arms..." What?...

" Metal plates?..."

"Yes. Protection Metal."

"Why the hell does she need them?!" I heard someone burst in. Yuu? Hotaru?

"She's..." Misaki... Please don't tell them...

"Our little Baka is dying." That voice... My heart wrenched and my whole world sunk into betrayal... Natsume...

"w-what?..." I heard Yuu whisper.

"She's dying." I slowly opened my eyes. I saw Misaki crying while holding onto Tsubasa-Senpai. Oji-sama!? My heart leapt but when i saw his face i immediately felt guilty. He had large bags under his eyes, sleep on his eye lashes and his face was red. Had he been crying?... I looked past him, Hotaru had a look of pure and utter shock, her already large eyes had double ands he was shaking. I've never seem her wear that expression before. Yuu next to her just looked down. Natsume was looking right at me, into my eyes. He closed his eyes and looked away.

"Hotaru." I whispered, her head snapped into my direction.

"I saw what you did." She looked away. "i thought my Mikan couldn't destroy a whole dorm and kill everyone inside. I thought you..."

"Matte!(wait) i what?" I tried to sit up but my arms gave out, they were wrapped in bandages.

"You killed 72 people, and destroyed the west dorm." Oji-Sama said. Tears began to form in my eyes, Sumire/Permy and the twins were in that dorm... Along with...

"Ruka-Pyon...?" Natsume pinched his lips and looked away. My heart jumped and tears spilled from my eyes. I-I... I killed Ruka-Pyon. I squeezed my lips when suddenly Yuu slammed his fist next to my face. Everyone gasped.

"YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL SAD!" Tears fell from his eyes onto my cheeks.

"Nonoka was in there!" He hung his heard. "So was Koko... And NARUMI-SENSEI AT THE TIME!" Natsume pulled him off and i must stared ahead of me, mouth hung slightly open.

"Yuu she already feels bad enough." Natsume.

"No. He's right." Hotaru said. "She's a monster." She grabbed Yuu and ran out. I began to shake and the empty tears fell down my cheeks.

"Mikan... Goodbye." Oji-Sama walked out.

"I'll let you rest." Misaki said but her face had fear written all over it. She walked out with Tsuabasa-Senpai in arm. Only Natsume was left.

"Mikan. Are you okay?" He asked sitting in the chair next to me.

"I nullified 72 lives and a whole dorm?" He gripped my hand.

"You couldn't help it!" He shouted. I looked plainly at him.

"I could. I just chose not to." I lied. His face was pained. I've seen another side of Natsume I never thought i would... Like Hotaru... Tears began to form.

"If you didn't chose to then why are you crying?" He kissed my forehead, making me blush a million times more than having hold my hand, before he walked out but stopped in the door way,

"Oh, and you're not a monster. You're a Baka." He left. I couldn't keep it in anymore. I burst out crying. Full on wails and sobs. I had just killed several people who i loved! I'm pretty sure people in the corridor could hear me, they just chose to ignore me. They thought i was a monster.

The next day Misaki said i could go to class because of the Protection plates in my arms. They didn't fit my size and they were large and flat so the were visible through the skin, it made me cringe every time i saw them. The stitches were messy and infected. But Misaki wouldn't treat them, she was scared to touch me. My eyes felt heavy and i felt lifeless. I pushed open the door to Class B and the whole room fell silent. Hotaru and Yuu stood up and left. 5 empty seats were present... Ruka-Pyon, Sumire, Nonoka, Anna and Koko. Our sub-teacher walked in... Narumi-Sensei... I sat down at the back next to Natsume. He didn't look at me. I heard a crack and i looked down at the bench. It started to crack. The girl next to me, Luna, gasped and jumped up.

"Monster." She hissed before taking a different seat. The lessons went on unnoticed by me, and every now and them, paper or spit balls would be thrown at me but they would disappear before they hit me. I saw Natsume strain and he was sweating.

"Sensei?" I held up my hand and he nodded.

"Can i leave?" He frowned

"w-why?" he was scared... I rubbed the plate in my arm and it shifted under my skin and i winced. He saw me clutching my arm and he nodded to the door. Before i walked out i whispered in Natsume's ear.

"If it hurts. Tell me for gods sake." He stiffened and looked up at me. I shook my head gently. I walked out, when i was out the class i sighed and my breath was visible in the air. I even nullified the temperature?! I looked down at my feet, my shoes started flickering before disappearing completely. i rolled my eyes and ran away. I ran to my new dorm and put on several bracelets and a couple earrings. I heard a knock on my door and i looked up to see Ruka-Pyon.

"R-Ruka-Pyon!?" He smiled brightly before disappearing. Illusion. Yuu. He walked in. A scowl on his face.

"Hurts doesn't it. Losing someone you love?" He walked right up to me. He had grown. Taller. He towered over me.

"Yuu-kun."

"Don't call me that! Mikan calls me that! Not you! You... You monster!" I saw Narumi-Sensei standing behind him.

"Mikan. How could you?!" He screamed an Ruka joined him as well as Permy. She was crying and clinging onto to Yuu.

"Noooo!" I screamed gripping my head.

"You killed them. Remember that. You monster!" For good measure Yuu slapped me but pulled his hand away, burned. He walked out and everyone vanished. I fell to my knees.

"W... Why?..."


	5. Chapter 5

I haven't been to class in five days. I haven't touch in any food for five days. I haven't seen anyone other than tormenting Illusions from Yuu for five days straight.

My stomach growled and begged for food. I grabbed the pills beside me and swallowed five. Supplements. And i choked them down with a whole bottle of spring water. Some dribbled out the side of my mouth and i wiped it away with my sleeve. I flopped back down onto my bed when a creak sounded next to me. I looked to my left. Another crack appeared in the walls, ridden with con-web like cracks and peeling paint. Sitting on the floor crying was Anna. She looked up at me, her eyes filled with tears.

"i trusted you. You killed me. You killed me! You Monster! Monster! Monster!" She screamed before vanishing. I wiped away my tears and looked back up at the ceiling. I was surprised. That it hadn't given away with the amount that had fallen away and cracked. My bed had been reduced to a blanket and pillow and no furniture was present anymore, just piles of dust. I pulled off the blanket and looked down at myself. My top that used to be tight and showing was now loose nd baggy. I pulled it up to see all my ribs and visible hips. My stomach growled and a horrible pain shot up it. I swallowed another five supplements. The plates in my a. Shad shifted and moved arlund so much that it had destroyed the muscle in my arms. I rolled onto my sighed butt he floor gave a horrible creaking groand so i mobed back to my orginal postion. I sighed again but ended up coughing, the short sputters of breath visible in the air like little clouds. I wrapped the blanket back around me. A knock came from my door and i saw Natsume standing there. I looked at his emotionlessly.

"Mikan." He stepped forwars, the floor cracked and groaned under his weight but somehow he made it over to me.

"Are you... Okay?" i just stared at him. He glanced to his side and saw the empty bottles water and supplement boxes.

"You haven't been eating?" Still i stared, wondering if hew as real or just anothe. Illusion and i had killed him too. "Show me your stomach." I yanked off the covers and he gently pulled up my top.

"M-Mikan..." He gasped. His eyes turned stern "wait here." He got up and ran out. Wait here? Where else was i welcome?

A couple minutes later Natsume came back with multiple samdwiches and fruit.

"Eat." He sat the food down next to me and i just stared at it. He sighed and helped me up, making the pillow disappear and his skin to sizzle. He broke off s bit of sandwich ignoring the pain in his hands and plopping it into my mouth. I began to chew but i felt sick. I gagged but swallowed it anyway. My sto,ach growled in protest yet just a second ago it was begging for food. I barely finished the sandwich with the help of Natsume sothout throwing up. I gulped down water filling the rest of my stomach. I looked up at Natsume and saw something i wasn't expecting. His face centimetres from mine, searching deep into my eyes.

"I'm sorry." I jumped a little. "Aboit what i said. I lied. i don't hate you." I nodded slowly. "After you ran off i followed you, to where we confessed to each other." my heart rate quickened and my plae cheeks grew hot.

"I heard what you said..." I gulped, wishing for more water. "I love you too." My eyes widened as he face closed the distance between us and his lips smacked against mine. I tried to push him away, not wanting to hurt him but he pushed deeper, searching my mouth, tasting me hungryly. I gaspeda nd he pulled away, his face sizzled and bubbled in places but he smiled. I started to cry,

"why?..." I whispered

"why what?" He chuckled.

"Why can't you see the monster i've become?"

"Because all i can see is the real you." I froze... The real me? I looked up and he smiled. My lips quivered and i hugged him never wanting to let him go but ne grunted in pain and i yanked myself off him.

"I'm... Gonna go... i'll see you tomorrow." He stood up but staggered. I gasped but he ignored me and walked out.

I did that to him... Just with my touch. I looked down at my hands, they were slowly turning black... Death would soon be upon me...

Its been three days since Natsumes last visit. I do try to eat, but it always comes back up not wanting to be in this disgusting body I have that destroys everything I touch.

"Natsume you're not going up there are you?" I heard a girly voice say outside my door.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I?" Natsume's voice echoed through the door.

"I saw whats he did to you last time. She turned your stomach black and you were in the medical room for three days and two nights. My eyes widened. I what?...

"She didn't do it on purpose." He said getting agitated.

"Natsume. She's a monster."

"Shut up Luna!" He growled and my door opened. Natsume's face went pale when he saw me. I began to shake. "Mikan." He smiled, shutting the door behind him, but I saw. I saw it. The terrified look on Luna's face when she saw me. How her eyes widened and her lip began to tremble and how she took a step back before shaking her head and running off.

"I brought you some food." he sat down next to me, I clutched my empty stomach and shook my head.

"It just comes back up. I can't eat." I whispered.

"Mikan..."

"No Natsume! Just get out." I said bluntly.

"What?" He hissed.

"Go away. I don't need you here. I don't want you here." I hissed back. I saw his upper eye lid twitched and he stood up, his hair covering his eyes.

"Fine, whatever. " I jumped when i saw the pained expression his face held. "I'm trying my best Mikan... I truly am. I'm looking for a way to help you. To cure you to save you. And this is the thanks I get!?"

"Natsume I-"

"No. Shut Polka-dots. I don't care anymore. Go ahead. Die alone. See if I care." A tear slid down his cheek and he raised out. My heart beat was so quick I could hear it in my ears. Telling me to go after him. Run! Go! Chase him! Don't let him go!

"Thats it Hyuuga!" I shouted before pushing myself onto my knees. I grunted and shoved more bracelets onto my wrists and around my ankles. I swallowed the lump in my throat before standing up like a new born foul, off balance and clumsy. Nonetheless I dragged my feet across the cracked wooden floor to the door. I gripped the handle and pushed the door open before the handle was reduced to dust. I looked down the stairs.

"How the hell am I gonna get down them?" I said to myself, standing on the edge of the top step. Suddenly, my knees gave out and I fell forward. I screamed before all the life escaped my lungs, my face crashed against the wood, weakening it and causing it to smash to pieces causing splinters to gorge their way into my eyes. My weak body flipped and my back crashed into the banister. It fell apart and I followed it down. Down. Down. My body cracked under pressure when it hit the next pair of stairs. I screamed again and I heard footsteps running towards me as I rolled down the stairs, smashing my head, hands and wrists. I landed on my stomach, winding myself, on the bottom floor. Pain soared through my entire body and I'm sure most of my bones were broken and shattered. My head throbbed and blood fell into my eyes, causing it to sting even more. Splinters riddled their way up my bare arms. I looked down at my ankle and itwas bent backwards and upside down. I let out a shocked scream as the pain set in. My throat became sore and cracked. I screamed silently. Most of my bones were bent backwards and my fingers were scrunched up to the knuckles and hang loosely. I saw a raven haired girl come into view, her purple eyes filled with fear and panic. I saw her bend down to look into my face.

"M-Mikan...?" She trembled before my whole world black.

* * *

><p><strong>okay so this chapter is a bit gruesome, sorry, but i was watching an action movie while writing this so... Sorry for the weak stomached readers! <strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**hey guys! Just a note for the people who read my last chapter. I have updated that one, so if this doesn't make sense its because theres another bit to read in the last chapter! Sorry for the confusion!**

My eyes fluttered open and pain soared up my entire body. I groaned.

"You awake?" A cold voice said next to me, I gasped, causing an unbearable pain in my lungs,

"H-Hotaru?..." I whispered. She sighed and nodded. "W-why...?"

"Your in pain right?" I scrunched up my face. She clenched her jaw, "I'll get my brother..," she walked out and I let out a muffled scream. I started to breath heavy. My lungs soared and both my hands felt like elephants had just stepped on them. My ankles roared and throbbed my head stung and my ears rung and my vision was slightly blurry. I closed my eyes and started crying, I heard footsteps coming back down the hall and Hotaru and her brother came in. Her brother gasped and rushed over.

"What the hell happened to her!?" He yelled and began Healing my ankle with his Alice.

"She fell down the stairs... I think." He moved onto my stomach and all the weight suddenly vanished and I could breath properly. I looked down at his hands. They began to bubble and turn black.

"Stop...!" I protested.

"Just stay still!" He held down my hands and began to heal them but they stayed black after my fingers were put into place.

"Imai... Stop!" He gripped my head and my whole vision went white. I screamed in protest and arched my back in pain.

"Whats going on!?" I thought I heard Hotaru scream.

"Why is she turning black!?" I heard someone shout. My heard rung and I felt weightless but like a thousand pounds at the same time.

"Mikan!" I heard Hotaru scream and she flashed through my mind. Her rare but beautiful smile, her voice when she shouted BAKA, her inventions and her raven hair, like Natsume... Her purple eyes and beautiful aura.

"Mikan please stop! Your scaring me!" Hotaru's crying face came into view and i felt a tear slide down my cheek. Hotaru...

"Hotaru!" I screamed and I felt my back hit the ground and my head began to throb but my vision slowly came into focus. I saw the whole room was cracked and broken, all the furniture had been turned to piles of dust and Hotaru and her brother stood there in a panic, Imai's hands were black up to the wrist but were slowly fading. She took a step forward as he took a step back.

"Mikan... Y-Your face..." She pulled a mirror from her back pocket and placed it in front of my face. Half my face was black and my eyes had turned to a white glassy color. I looked down at my arms, the black had spread all the way up to my left shoulder and crawled across my face, the right had crawled up to my elbow. I couldn't feel them. I looked back up to the mirror and brought my hands to face, I touched my black face, it twitched and swirled under my touch. The mirror chipped and cracked, and in her hands slowly turned to dust. Tears began to form in my eyes and the slid silently down my face and I just sat there, I looked like a monster...

"Imai!" Natsume ran in and his foot fell through the floor board, we were on the bottom floor so it didn't matter... Baka... It mattered so much... He froze when his eyes landed on me.

"M-Mikan..." I tried to smile but it slowly crumbled into tears and I clutched my face.

"Natsume... I think you should leave..." Hotaru pushed Natsume out. She shut the door but I heard what he said... I heard it as clear as day. I froze at his words as they flashed and flooded my head...

"Mikan... What are you?"

I sat there as I slowly chewed on the sandwich Hotaru made. I looked out the cracked window, with a perfect view of the sakura tree

**-flash** **back-**

_"ne, Natsume?" she said as she looked over his shoulder, the manga fell onto his lap and he turned his face to meet her gaze._

_"What is your class doing for the Alice Festival?" She sat back down, her back leaning on the sakura tree, his too, if the tree wasn't there, their back would be touching. _

_"hn." He said._

_"Hn? Whats does that mean?" _

_"Nothing... We can't dangerous ability remember, we'd just hurt people." He sighed and closed his eyes putting the manga back on his face. "Why are you here Polka?" _

_"I ran away..."_

_"From?"_

_"My class."_

_"Why?" _

_"They won't listen, we tried, once, to be able to hold an activity for the festival and they just gave up after one try! I called them horrible names..."_

_"Then apologize." she frowned and moved to sit in front of him._

_"Its not that simple!"_

_"Why?" He said, removing the manga, facing the brunette girl head on._

_"B-because-!"_

_"Go on. Tell me. Why is it so simple? Just apologize, i'm sure Shadow(Tsubasa) will not be able resist those large hazel eyes you have." She blushed and thought... _

_"Thanks..." She whispered._

_"Hn." Was his reply, but when her lips placed a soft kiss on his cheek he jumped, cheeks bright red. "W-wha...?!"_

_"thanks Natsume." She smiled before running off. He cupped where she kissed. And... Smiled._

**-end of flash back-**

Tears welled in my eyes, and I swallowed the mouthful of food before it nullified and disappeared in my mouth. Ever since Imai had healed my stomach I had been able toe at but of I didn't swallow it quick enough it would disappear before I could savor the rare taste of food that Hotaru would bring me. I stood up and walked to the window. I placed my hand on it and it was reduced to dust. That type of thing didn't freak me out anymore... Funny that, I'm used to killing things with my touch. I scoffed and climbed out the window, when I landed on the ground, the grass died and the soil hardened. I walked across the path, cracking it, but not caring. I reached the tree and stood there. Expecting to see something that wasn't there. I bent down and read the engraving that some had put into its bark.

"Natsume and Mikan?" I whispered. It was inside a heart. I wiped the tears away and slapped my cheeks. I laid down on the grass. Someone walked past and screamed before running off. I wouldn't blame them, both arms were fully black and my face was like a disease to the eye.


	7. Chapter 7

**sorry it took soooo long for me to update i've had some mega crazy tests in school and i still got some to come so sorry if theres not much to read for a while, but i hope you enjoy this chapter! Xx**

I wanted to put my hand on the sakura tree and remember all the days I shared with Natsume, just sitting there, enjoying each others presence. I smiled but my eyes brows were knotted together and my lips were pinched together. I heard a loud crack and I looked down, a huge hole had appeared to my side in the ground. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Ne, Natsume, I know you're there." I said, my training from the Dangerous Ability Type class/ missions had helped me detect presences and heightened my sense. Natsume walked up behind me and my head began to feel. "You asked me what I am, I don't know."

"Baka. Think Mikan, you're a monster, I mean look at you." I didn't face him while we spoke, I didn't want him to see me like this, a pain crept into my left eye and my vision went partly black. I guess this is it right? My death bed? I looked at the engraving in the tree and smirked.

"Ne, Natsume? Did you do this?" I pointed at the engraving.

"Yeah, why? I did it after you left... I thought you'd come back for me... You did, but like this," he scoffed "i feel sick just looking at you now." His voice was cold and sharp.

"So its fine if i get rid of this?" He made wha? Sound as I placed my palm on the engraving and the tree started to decay.

"Wha- what are you doing!?" He went to grab me but I turned to face him and he froze. I removed my hand from the dead tree. I faced him, hair covering my eyes.

"Ne, Natsume? Would you be happy if i dropped dead?" I smiled and he took a step back. I raised my head to show him my eye, he gasped.

"you... Eye its black!?" I closed them, my whole body felt and weak but i wasn't go to die in front of this jerk. I was going to die when i wanted to, not now... Not today... Not without... Not without... Not without Natsume forgiving me... Not without a proper goodbye... Not like this!

"Natsume... I'm going to do die... Today." He froze. Hotaru came into my right vision.

"M-Mikan!? Natsume!?" She was out breath and looked frantic. "Where did you go?! I was so worried!" She yelled at me.

"So... _now your my friend?" _I said annoyed... Properly annoyed. That this little backstabber was going to witness my death... I don't care what she thinks now or what we used to have... I knew i always hated her... I smirked, a pain began to throb in my dry throat... So my death is through suffocation... Or just the nullification of my lungs?

"M-Mikan?..." Hotaru looked up at my face. "I was always your friend."

"Cut the crap!" I slapped her, causing a black hand print to form on her face. I thought it was pretty cool. Slowly her eye began to turn black as well. Blind. Good. Now you won't see me die... I don't want you to bare that pain of seeing someone die in front of you... You don't need to see that... Even if that person is a monster...

"Natsume. Hotaru. I love you guys." My lungs burned and i coughed.

"Mikan... Are... Are you okay?" Natsume stepped forward. Hotaru fell to the fall unconscious. I slapped her pretty hard.

"Natsume, I'll tell Ruka you said hi!" I put my fading hands behind my back and balanced on my toes, causing large scattered cracks to appear around us. The trees began to die and the sky darkened and began to rain.

"M-Mikan...?" Suddenly, a smile appeared on his face. "Good riddance." He looked genuinely pleased at me dying, so i smiled at him and whispered.

"Your welcome, Natsume-kun..." He froze at the -kun I added. My legs began to flicker and I couldn't breath."Truth is I'm scared to die... I don't wanna leave you guys... But i see the pain i cause... Just tell Hotaru I'm sorry... And I... Love... Her!" My voice echoed and i saw tears in Natsume eyes. Goodbye... My family...


	8. Chapter 8

Natsume POV:

"Mikan...?" The heavy weight of what i just said to her settled in my stomach... She just disappeared before my eyes and i didn't stop or help her... She wasn't the monster here... I was... I looked down Imai, she was probably blind by now... I put her arm around my shoulder and carried her inside.

"Misaki, we got ano-" i stopped dead when i walked into the infirmary. Tones of people with parts of bodies black and rotten, sat crying or unconscious on the beds, chairs and floor. I placed Imai on a chair and ran to find Misaki. She was frantically checking over someone with the blackness spreading over his heart, he was coughing up blood.

"M-Misaki!? What the hell is going on!?" I yelled and she looked up, tears pouring down her face, i took another look at the person she was tending... Shadow(Tsubasa). He was dying in her hands. I clicked my tongue and shoved her out the way. Before Mikan left Alice Academy she gave me and Alice Stone like everyone, we just didn't know why... The one she gave me, the stealing Alice.

"God, please let this work!" I placed my hand on his chest and the blackness started to form on my hand off his chest. People stood amazed... It worked! I moved onto the next serious person and took away the Nullification Disease. Soon people were lining up, my arm was completely black and hurt like fire, this Alice Stone wasn't gonna last much longer. Misaki came up to my side.

"What, happened. Misaki?" I asked, straining to take away the blackness on some middle schooler.

"I dunno! People suddenly started turning black! Is it Mikan!? Where is she!? We have to stop her!"

"She's dead!" Everyone in the infirmary turned to face me. I sighed in frustration. Imai walkd" up to me. Her face healed. Probably by her brother.

"Mikan tried not to kill us. So she sent her Alice out of her body. Around us. Not on us." Tears began to form in her eyes, something i had never seen before. "She was saving us. From... Herself." She looked down. Thats when the Alice vanished from my body and i collapsed exhausted.

"Go, to Imai for help!" I waved off the others waiting for help, they began to file away with moans and grunts till only my and Imai were left. She bent down next to me.

" she said she's sorry... And that she loves you." I whispered trying to catch my breath.

"Baka... She loved you more."

"Imai... I smiled when she died. Does that make me a monster?"

"no... Its makes you a coward." My body jolted from the words and i looked up at her shocked. Nobody calls me a coward! I went to burn her but no flame lit in my hand.

"You have the Nullification in your body, dummy. You can't use your Alice. Ever."

"Ever?..." She nodded and walked away. The blackness only faded to swirls and scars when Imai tried to heal me... Imai was right. I can't use my Alice.

I got kicked out of the Academy and had my goodbye, from all the girls mostly. Imai wasn't blind anymore and she just stood there, seeing me off

"Goodbye, Hotaru." Her eyes widened a little and she smiled. Gradually a light appeared behind her, and when spoke another voice joined her.

"Goodbye, Natsume." Mikan smiled behind her and little tears formed in my eyes at her stupid grin and pig tails. She was ten again.

"Goodbye, Mikan." I whispered before jumping into the limo and watching the school i hated but met the girl i loved at disappear.

"Take me to Sakura Mikans house." The driver nodded.

We pulled up outside a small little home, perfect for Mikan. I walked up to the door and a elderly man answered.

"Hi, I'm Hyuuga Natsume, Mikans friend/crush?" He smiled and invited me in.

"I'm Mikans Grandpa." He sat down opposite me, "i'm guessing by the look in your eye something happened?" He was so calm.

"yes... You see Mikan she-" suddenly a high pitched voice echoed through the house.

"Grandpa? who was at the door!?" I know that voice. I stood up and walked to the living room door. I heard footsteps echo down the stairs until a girl my age with beautiful white eyes and crystal pearl like hair that reached just above her shoulders. She may look different but i knew who it was...

"s-sakura?...!" She froze and looked at me.

"Yeah? Who are you?" No... Don't tell me she lost her memory... My rare smiled faded and my heart sunk.

"no... You don't remember?..." i stepped back.

"I remember disappearing and thinking i was dead... But guess what, Natsume-kun, my sister came to see me. I have the Stealing Alice. I stole her Nullification, thats how i ended up like this. My sister is upstairs." Sister!? "I'm Sakura Chloe." i ran past her upstairs, there she stood. Pale faced and weak. She stood clutching her heart and tears in her eyes.

"You never said you had a sister." I said stepping forward.

"I don't. She is the me with Alices, i am me, a human." she stepped back.

"Mikan..."

"Natsume-kun right? I never met you. She took my memories as well. She's the Mikan you love. Not me." i froze

"b-but-"

"No!" She screamed her voice breaking. "Stay away from me! You monster!" She ran into a room and Chloe came up behind me.

"Lost your girl?" she smirked.

"I never had her." i scoffed. Ignoring the cracking of my heart.

"Wanna runaway somewhere?" She whispered in my ear and it urned to face her.

"what?"

"i have all her memories. And feelings." I smirked. Might as well...

I have nothing left to hold dear to me...

Goodbye...

Mikan, i always loved you...


End file.
